The TCK Survival Guide
Being a Singaporean Indian who has attended an American International school her entire life and who now lives in the UK, I believe I’ve experienced the prime Third Culture Kid (TCK) lifestyle. Growing up I watched my fair share of Upin and Ipin with sprinkles of Chota Bheem and Ben 10. Trust me, I've seen it all. But all jokes aside, having to accept several different cultures in your surroundings is not easy and honestly you should be proud of yourself for keeping it together. As a TCK, it is a fact that we are more receptive to accepting the changes in our surrounding environment. Knowing this, I believed that the shift to the wonderful land of fish and chips and unpredictable weather would be a piece of cake. Sadly, I was hugely incorrect.
Having lived here for the past 5 months, I have some observations that I believe make up a perfect survival guide for my people, the TCKs.
Third Culture Kids (TCKs): By definition, a TCK is an individual who was raised outside their parents’ culture or the culture of their country or nationality. This meant that they would have a significant part of their childhood in a totally new environment.
The ‘Where are you really from?’ conversation: Back in Singapore, I was lucky enough that I’ve never needed to have THE conversation. The TCKs reading this know exactly what I’m talking about, it is something we’ve been preparing for (or dreading) our entire life, the but where are you really from? conversation. I would say I had this conversation about 4 times every single day during freshers week and it went something like this.
Me: “Hey, I’m Manisha!”
X : “Hey I’m X, which accommodation are you in? I’m in Rootes'“
Me: “Oh that’s cool. So where are you from?”
X: “I’m Welsh, what about you?”
Me: “Singaporean”
stares at me
X: “Really? You sound American. Where are your parents from though?”
*Sigh* To be completely honest, conversations like this can either irritate every nerve in your body or be so humorous that you actually enjoy having it. In cases like these just be patient. 9/10 people aren’t ignorant and are genuinely curious to understand our origins, and I would highly recommend taking some time and explaining your background. At least for me, this was how I made myself memorable in a crowd. People like us are unique and why not take advantage of it and use it to our benefit?
Drop all expectations: You might think you’ve experienced new beginnings and cultural diaspro in an area you call home. Well, you haven't. So drop all expectations you have and go in with an open mind. It is human nature to expect things and hope they turn out a perfect way; however, I would highly suggest that you limit such thoughts as it won’t lead to any potential disappointments. For example, I expected to have a huge group of friends who celebrated each holiday unique to their culture together, like I had back home. However, it did not turn out the way I imagined because a) you're in university and you have a student budget b) you have little to no time between your social life and academics. Moreover, truly be open to change. As TCKs we don’t realize how much change we are actually about to be put through. Not only are you in a whole different country, you’re in a university with students and staff from over 140 nationalities. You’re about to be put into a cultural washing machine and you need to embrace it.
It gets lonely: During certain parts of your journey towards building a new life in the UK, you will notice that not a lot of people can relate to what you’re going through. Yes you may have loads of friends you talk to or have some really lively socials, but you are truly on your own. Times like this are hard, well and truly hard. This is when you need to fall back on the people from home. Set up regular calls with your friends and family, I scheduled it into my calendar to make sure I never forget. Use this time to focus on yourself and your goals and you will be grateful for the person you teach yourself to become.
Moving countries to a whole different environment is a daunting task. Having to leave your familiar surroundings and enter a country where food from home is probably sold for twice the actual price (really stealing from internationals) is difficult. However, after embracing the changes and realizing your surroundings are guiding you through your next stage in life, you’ll soon start calling this place your home. Changes in culture and living a double life is something we are used to but it is still crucial to accept the fact that this is new and what you're going through is completely different. Such changes in lifestyle should not stop you from experiencing the core memories you will make in university and the friends you will have for the rest of your life.